For my information:
1. There’s a reason this is supposed to be done in a clay jar and buried in the ground.
2. The fridge now looks cleaner than ever before but will never not smell like kimchee again.
3. I’m going to eat it, despite the horrrible potential for mouth wound plus fermented fire.
If you happen to be the kind of person who hates to waste things like: jars and flavor, and loves anchovies, then this is really going to get you excited. If you like wasting things and don’t love anchovies, you’re dead to me.
1. When you get almost to the bottom of one of these cute anchovies-in-olive-oil jars, fill it up with soft unsalted butter.
2. Mix the fish bits, oil and butter well with fork.
Optional: add chopped herbs, chili flakes.
1. Buy a watermelon from a guy with a truck full of watermelons, or wherever you buy them in your town.
2. Bring it home and puree half of it, splitting the rind between the dogs and the chickens or the compost or save it for pickling, and then tell me how you did that.
3. Strain the juice and pour as much into your ice cream machine as fits. Add a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lime, plus half a can of condensed milk if you dare (do it), or 1 tablespoon of sugar plus a dash of cream.
4. Churn the watermelon mixture in the ice cream machine until it’s nice and thick. Put it in the freezer for a bit.
(4. If you don’t have an ice cream machine, think about it. What’s to think about? $50 for a magic happiness factory? Or make a fucking granita by freezing the juice in a shallow vessel like a baking dish and raking through with a fork every 30 minutes over the 3 hours or so it takes to become a sorbet-like thing.)
5. Put some tall glasses in the freezer at the same time. Oh my God I just proposed to myself.
6. When the watermelon juice has slushified, spoon it generously into frosted glasses. Drizzle in some fancy dark rum that someone else hopefully paid for. Serve with a straw, not that anyone has a straw in their house.
Anonymous asked:
Eel?
Dear anonymous,
Eel? Really?I have no idea but I enlisted my mom, who has apparently been ransacking her cookbook collection all week—like she has nothing better to do—and my boyfriend’s mom, who is Japanese and sent me this message between classes in Italian language and digital photography at the senior center, and now clearly thinks I’m an idiot who’s never had unagi:
Eel….we usually cut it open and broil and put TERIKAKI sauce over. You never had UNAGI SUSHI? I guess Italian or Portuguese people coat with flour and fry them. It is very slimy so hard to handle eel.
Well good luck. Hope this will help.
eiko
Please do report back to lalliblog if you both with slimy eel (there are comments now but no one cares).
—N
tigerstigers asked:
I would like to ask about not wasting food for non-dog owning people. Any tips for reusing ingredients or … I don’t know, how else do you avoid wasting food because I feel like I am always throwing scraps or leftovers or something away.
Dear tigerstigers,
My heart is warmed to get a food-hoarder question. If you don’t have a garden, you could still compost for friends or a community garden or for the farmer’s market. This would be a very impressive and generous effort on your part and I bet I wouldn’t do it because I am lazy. Or i would do the bucket part but then be too lazy to bring it to the place and then be surrounded by compost and blogging about it.
Here are some tips. Readers, please utilize the new COMMENTS to share more! Wheeee.
—N
Anonymous asked:
if i dont use the stalks of my broccoli am i a bad person?
Yeah pretty much. But if you use just the first few inches you’re an ok person. I have found that to be good enough.
—N
Anonymous Asked:
i am an experienced cooker of foods - delicious foods, even. but last time i did a boo-boo. i tried to braise some london broil? it was so cheap, ok? but it didn’t fall apart and instead it got all tough. did i eff it up? or was it just too lean? i seared- garlic onion friedinthefat w/ secret anchoives - deglazed - added tomatoes and olives - cooked for a bit at 300 degrees. the only thing that was different was the cut of meat? or i’m too hungover to remember other mistakes?
Oh, dear Anonymous,
You even put in secret anchovies so I love you. I have never made London broil because I am not sure I’ve ever eaten it because I don’t know anyone else who does and I never really knew what it was. I wondered, because it is so cheap.
According to the internet it can refer to different things, and the name actually refers to a specific grilled dish that is traditionally made with marinated flank steak. I like flank steak but it sounds like you got a piece of top round, and even Wikipedia admits you basically have to gang rape that to tenderize it to an edible degree:
Because the muscle fibers run the entire length of this cut, the meat can be tough if not tenderized via pounding or massaging. Scoring, stabbing, cutting, penetrating, or otherwise mutilating the cut before sending it into the broiler results in a tougher finished product as it allows all the desirable juices to run out of the meat into the pan.
So I say fuck London broil. It’s a bad meat. You’re a good cook.
—N
Anonymous asked:
Perhaps you can help with my ongoing moral dilemma about eating animals. I like eating poultry and fish and steak, etc., but I also love and respect animals. All animals. And I have pets, who of course are like family. So whenever I eat animals, I feel like I am eating family. But becoming a vegetarian seems so boring. What do I do?
Me, solving moral dilemmas? Sure, why not!?
I think the key here is to remember that you’re an animal too. If it was wrong to eat animals, you probably wouldn’t enjoy it so much. Could you enjoy eating your actual cousin? I don’t know you but I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and guess that that would be very difficult for you.
We should feel bad about destroying the planet to raise animals inhumanely, and wasting them after they’ve been slaughtered. If you can afford to do it and have the discipline, eat only locally-raised meat from animals who lived naturally. And use all of the meat you buy, including the “nasty bits”. Obviously it’s also a lot more healthy for us, and in an ideal world we could avoid all the scary factory meat we;re surrounded by.
Then again, sometimes you’re at Ikea and if you don’t eat a $.50 hotdog you will start killing people. Personally, my limited budget and interest in ethnic food adventures and the cuisine of un-wealthy home cooks makes it hard to avoid questionable meat, but these are personal priorities. I do fork over the cash for the good stuff when cooking at home.
For more nutritional history about how the human diet evolved, I strongly recommend the book “Real Food” by a much more knowledgeable Nina, Nina Plank.
—N
Great news, friends. Your cooking questions will now be illustrated by Frank Olive, whose drawings you can see on his blog, The Art of Drawmaking. Frank is my favorite name for a person, and this Frank is a good one. I’m so glad that our day-jobs have brought us together.
Anonymous asked: ok, so can we talk about cocktails? no? cocktail are food, especially when you're poor. and especially when the cocktails have STUFF in them.
Hello Anonymous,
I am mostly a person who drinks whatever pretentious beer is sold in a bodega near me. I am a little lazy and a little broke, and I like to “nurse” something without getting too drunk, but occasionally I do enjoy a cocktail. Here are some recipes:
whiskey/rye/bourbon + ice
whiskey + lemon juice + simple syrup or ginger syrup
rum + ginger beer
whiskey + lemonade
beer + lemonade
vanilla ice cream + caramel sauce + shot of whiskey
shitty beer + tomato juice
stout + vanilla ice cream
